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Intro 00-01-02-
MP Missions Team
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07-The Lord M 100

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Washed And Waved
Uriel
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26-27-In Alert
Kids Heroes (Bonus Track)


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"When one door closes, Another Opens, But Often we look so long and so Regretfully upon the closed door That We Do Not see the one Which has Opened for us."

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A story to ponder

THE SNAKE AND THE FIREFLY

Legend has it that once, a snake began to chase a firefly, it quickly fled the fierce predatory but the snake was not going to stop.
fled one day and she did not give up two days and nothing.
the third day, the Firefly stopped pretending to be exhausted and said unto the serpent
- Wait, I give up, but before you get me let me ask you some questions.
- I do not usually give it to anyone but as above I think you eat, you can ask.
- Do I belong in your food chain?
- No.
- Have you made some wrong?
- No.
- So what do you want to kill me?
- Because I can not stand to see you shine.

The firefly dared to seek such information, because I wanted to understand the situation to all appearances seemed pointless.

Once aware of numbness and envy of the serpent, just smiled and fly higher and faster still, so that the snake was left wanting for that bit so bright that proved to be beyond their reach.

In a final nod of his light, winged bug shouted to the snake, well above her:

- "It's time you learned to shine yourself in a way so beautiful that we have fireflies, we note with admiration, your big glow "

-----
There are many people who can not bear to see shine others envy his life, his achievements, his family and even your smile!
If anyone so we touch in life, never cease to shine, never cease to remain ourselves, keep doing and giving the best of us, until those people realize they can not make us anything wrong and that our light will always remain intact, and maybe then, they start trying to shine by themselves as well.

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"William Shakespeare said: I always feel happy, you know why? Because I do not expect anything from anyone, expect it always hurts. The problems are not eternal, always have solutions, only that does not resolve is death. Life is short, so love it, be happy and always smiling, just live intensely. "

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2:39 11. Three controls
2:34 12. Scratch
In The Back 2:32 13. Weather
Contigo 2:44 14. What you want me
2:25 15. What happened?
2:57 16. Bonus Track: The Devil's Command (feat. Gerardo Ortiz)


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The perfect life would be like a photo album, freeze the good times and make them last forever ...



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The act of cutting is not difficult to understand, we download all our problems, emotions that we run, then there are the scars that we hide, brands other mistakes we made when we wanted to solve.

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Monday October 5, 2009

That desire to return ...

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I do not know how, why, or When

never wanted to understand how they got where they are now?, I mean to say they are as they are in terms his personality, habits and so on ...
I have more contradictions in my life that a person can imagine.
I am a sensitive, intelligent, mature, sometimes do not think before talking or doing something and sometimes he thinks too much and nothing too much or something always brings bad results.
Many times I ask because I am so, before it was the opposite of what I am Now, more vicious and callous colder totally alone, God how I miss being so, and nothing I care that things or people you care about all we get is you wrong.
Finally I would like to understand why I am not so different, because I can not be more happy and optimistic about life (for those who know they are reading and I try out). Because

write?

write because it helps me understand myself, is a way to download (instead of cut, and if I do not care that people know as long as you clear that I did because I was wrong and wanted proque attention) of my problems and reflect my life in a mirror through the words.

I understand ...

used to cut to release pressure I had in my life, especially those problems came from my parents, before his eyes was always a useless, worthless, good for nothing, and throw me well after all the shit that's what achieved. How come that? The truth, I have no idea, I would like to know but do not know. If you ask me if I'd do it, the truth that if it again. Ask why, is because it is a way to download my negative emotions simply and effectively and I have to trust anyone (read that will interest the letter before this).



My parents do not know anything ...


I always hide everything my parents, I never liked enough to get in in my life because we have different ways of seeing things and if I'm wrong wrong I prefer to leave rather than prevent it from getting done and believing they know much when in fact know nothing. I never tell them my problems or things that truly have nothing to do with the career I'm studying, I hide everything.
IF OLD DRESS? USELESS THAT YOUR SON IS NOT FOR NOTHING AS YOU DO NOT HAVE A CONCERN IN THE LIFE BITCH, may end 2 TIMES AND SHORT A FEW TIMES, AND MUCH OF THE BLAME FOR THAT I HAVE COME TO YOU THAT THE TENES. AND AFTER TENES the face to come and say "I KNOW YOU" jajajaja GOD FUCKING LIFE.

solution?


Why will I always look for the easy way out seems to be a solution but you know it ends up being a brothel. Weight problems, anorexia and bulimia are the answer (if not because I have are older than me over a bulimic sseria potential). Emotional problems, the gillete always at hand.
And yes, I know that this "evil" (varies depends from what point of view you see it) but hey, after 2 years of paddling a means and ends are tired throwing the easy way out.

Remember ...

As I saw in a movie eleven, "Good Memories Can Save Your Life" and that's right But the thing here is I CAN NOT REMEMBER THE HAPPY THINGS. I have a frighteningly amazing talent for remembering all the shit and bad moments of my life with details that sometimes even I am surprised myself.
So ... fucking good memories of me are talking about if I have no memory to remember them.


to

Well here goes for now, you want to read to read, which you say is free to do so (it would be ironic to publish it and did not want to comment on anyone or no one read) while no worry about what happens with my life and let me be to say what they want, the comment will be read and responded.


PS: The writing is crap, like my life.

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A friend of mine Said once: "Trust Issues Suck" and she WAS right ...

I do not know why I find so hard to trust on someone.
I feel fear, fear of being judged, fear of not being accepted. Because of all the trobules I´ve been through, I got to the point that I wasn´t sure if I was crazy or not. That´s what I fear most, being crazy, being insane.
Two years have passed, and I still haven´t told my parents I´ve wanted to commit suicide. The only thing I could think about was that they were going to take me to some kind of psychiatric hospital and leave me there till my "ilness" was healed.
I didn´t want to be classified as a person who has some kind of mental disorder, I don´t have anything against them It´s just that I don´t know. I just didn´t want to. It´s up to date that I don´t know why I was so terrified about that, but I just felt like it.
Another cause of my trust issues, is that in the past, I´ve trusted on persons who I thought were friends, but they showed me they weren´t. Those persons who I wrongly used to call friends, used to make fun of that, while they were laughing about it, I remember I thought "You are making fun of what could have been the end of my life" What a funny joke...

Well that´s basically the truth about why I don´t feel comfortable when I need to talk with someone cause I have a problem, but well I¨ve found a few persons that I know are reliable.
If you read this and you are curious about it, the answer is NO, I´m not crazy and I haven´t got any kind of mental illness, it´s just that it Took me some time to UNDERSTAND it.

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    I was a coward, I gave up more than once I almost 
 point in my book incomplete story, and not fight.    

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     When this began 
 I had nothing to say 
 And Id get lost in the nothingness inside of me 
 I was confused 
 And Id let it all out to find 
 That im not the only person with these things in mind 
 Inside of me 
 When all the vacancy the words revealed 
 Is the only real thing that Ive got left to feel 
 Nothing to loose 
 Just stuck, hollow and alone 
 And the fault is my own and the fault is my own 
    
 I wanna heal I wanna feel 
 What I thought was never real 
 I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long 
 Erase all the pain till its gone 
  
 I wanna  heal I wanna feel 
 Like Im close to something real 
 I wanna find something Ive wanted all along 
 Somewhere I belong 
  
   And Ive got nothing to say 
 I cant believe I didnt fall right down on my face 
 I was confused 
 Looking everwhere only to find 
 That its not the way I had imagined it all in my mind 
 So what am I 
 What do I have but negativity 
 Cause I cant justify the way everyone is looking at me 
 Nothing to loose 
 Nothing to gain, hollow and alone 
 And the fault is my own and the fault is my own 
  
 I wanna heal I wanna feel 
 What I thought was never real 
 I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long 
 Erase all the pain till its gone 
   
   I wanna heal I wanna feel 
 Like Im close to something real 
 I wanna find something Ive wanted all along 
 Somewhere I belong 
  
  
 I wanna heal I wanna feel 
 What I thought was never real 
 I want to let go of the pain I felt so long 
 Erase all the pain till its gone 
  
 I  I will never know 
 Myself until I do this on my own 
 And I will never feel 
 Anything else, until my wounds are healed 
 I will never be anything 
 Until I break away from me 
 I will break away 
 I'll find myself today 
  wanna heal I wanna feel 
 Like Im close to something real 
 I wanna find something Ive wanted all along 
 Somewhere I belong 
     
 I wanna heal I wanna feel I wanna feel like Im 
 somewhere I belong 
 I wanna heal I wanna feel I wanna feel like Im 
 somewhere I belong 
 Somewhere I belong   

       

       

       

       

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Goodbye dear dad

I asked them not go, do not leave me, I could not go on without you daddy, but nobody heard me or not cried enough because you're gone, and I only have been this huge gap this sadness that drowns me almost every day until my breath.

I miss you terribly, and I feel my anger grows, while the weather that I miss.

Wherever you are I hope you never forget your little one needs you more than anything in the world.

Many kisses, hope you get even if you do not sound in your face as you liked .